It is back to school soon! Not just for my daughter but for me as well. She is thriving! I am becoming anxious. She knows she has the momentum of “must do” and the magical “energy of youth and the world is unlimited to what you can do/be”. She learned that from me. I am her biggest fan, I am her sounding board, I am honest with her about the importance of showing up and presenting your best. It sort of makes me laugh, in this instance, she took the mantra and ran with it but I am struggling with learning disabilities and have no idea if I will ever walk for my A.A. in Sociology which then makes it impossible for me to graduate in the Social Work program at BSU or any where for that matter. Numbers are going to push my head under water, while the sound of their notes (think… a really BAD 3rd grade orchestra and a brilliant light show from their colors which penetrate the water and bounce off the river bottom) and wait until my lungs betray me and make me take the last gasp before I sink into educational oblivion. (Think of a $8.00 per hour job and poverty for the last 3rd of my life.) What is weird is that every counselor I speak to who are seasoned in their field, use computers to do the “math” stuff or hires someone to do it, because they don’t freakin’ remember the math and they don’t use it. But the big difference is they passed, obviously, or they wouldn’t be where they are and where they have been. That makes me want to drop to my knees and beg for Synesthesia to just leave. I would deal with the lack of colors in the alphabet and numbers becoming silent. I would give up months that were different colors. I would be sad but it would make learning so much easier in one area of my life. The one area, with the strong hand around the back of my neck, just waiting to push me under.